Wordz Press

3:30 p.m.
Sarah woke up late that afternoon, her head still fuzzy, her heart still hurting. Stretched out on her bed, she thought back to the previous day.

Barely 24 hours before, she'd been walking into the bank. It didn't seem possible, but in the course of a single day, her life had been flipped upside down and turned backward, as well. Her career. Her past. Her future. Nothing seemed the same.

She stared at the stripes of sunshine above her bed. They danced in the late afternoon heat, their shimmering lights reminding her of the dark gleams in Ray's eyes. He wasn't the young boy she'd known all those years ago. He'd grown up and become someone else. The cynical, jaded mask was still there, yes, but underneath it was a man with deep convictions. The sacrifice he'd made by marrying Joan was one few men would make.

Sarah felt a strange mixture of confusion as she thought about his actions. He'd done the right thing, but a part of her still hurt over his choice. On the other hand, had he made a different decision, she wouldn't have loved him as deeply as she did. He would have been someone else entirely.

He would have been a man who didn't have the capacity to feel as he did. A man who wouldn't put others above himself. He'd done the right thing, she told herself, but in doing so, he'd hurt her in a way she hadn't really understood until today.

With a moan, she rolled to the edge of the bed and stood up, the sheets falling away into a pile. However she felt about Ray...however he felt about her...none of it really mattered, did it? He'd disappeared last night and she was sure this time, it was for good. Sarah would probably never see Ray Maitland again and if she had harbored any hopes that something else might come of their encounter, she was kidding herself.

She walked into her kitchen, her sadness wrapped around her like a blanket with holes.

* * *

The wind rushed past his face in a stinging wave, but Ray gunned the motorcycle's engine to its outer edge and forced the big machine to go even faster. The passing scnery at his left the blue-green water and pearl white sand disappeared into a blur as the cycle responded.

He wished he could make his thoughts blur as easily.

Unable to sleep, unable to work, he'd gone to his shop after cleaning up. The guys who worked for him had all heard about the bank robbery; some reporter yahoo with a camera had even caught his image as he'd rushed from the lobby afterward.

He'd brushed off the mechanics' questions just as he had the reporters. He didn't want to talk about the incident or his part in it. All he wanted to do was forget it had even happened.

But he couldn't.

Sarah's eyes haunted him with a vengeance. He couldn't get their blueness to leave his mind. His fingers still felt her skin, his lips still tasted hers. Reaching the limits of town, he slowed the cycle. There was nothing he could do. He was doomed.

One way or another, Sarah would always be with him. In his heart. In his mind.

She'd seemed to accept what he'd told her about Joan, but her expression had given her true emotions away. Just as he'd known all along, he'd hurt her, hurt her so badly, she'd never forgive him. When you chose one woman over another, the reasons didn't really matter, did they?

Slowing to stop at a red light, Ray looked around him, his eyes burning with exhaustion and despair. The sad part was he'd told Sarah the truth yesterday. He loved her.

Loved her with everything inside of him. He always had. He took off again, the cycle's motor screaming, the pavement streaming beneath him. Now that he'd said the words out loud and to her; they'd taken on a life of their own. There was no way he'd go on pretending that wasn't the case anymore and suddenly he wondered why he'd even tried.

The question hit him hard, reality crashing all around him. He fought the cycle as he fought his thoughts, then finally he gave up. With a wild jerk on the cycle, he pulled the big machine over to the curb and braked, scrubbing his face with his hands. How could he have never wondered what this meant? How could he have ignored the truth for so long?

Through the years, he'd thought he wasn't good enough for Sarah. He'd made up all kinds of excuses and given himself dozens of reasons why he couldn't contact her. Every time he'd wanted to call her, he'd convinced himself she wouldn't talk to him.

Why? Why had he done that? It made no sense at all.

Without any warning, the answer came to him swiftly, the power of his words to Sarah opening his eyes and laying out what had always been there. What he'd been too blind to see. A cold whisper of disappointment came over him, then anger, hard and fast. He'd wasted all these years, all this time, and he had no one to blame but himself.

He slowly lifted his head and stared off to his right. The Gulf of Mexico stretched out before him, an endless vista of emerald waves and glistening light. He cursed softly, the wind snatching away his words and sprinkling them over the water. An hour passed then he started the cycle's engine and pulled away.